Homepage for biking, skiing & climbing nuts here in Albuquerque.
Friday, February 27, 2015
During the Tenth Anniversary AAS Annual Adventure Summit Roll Call, El Presidente was conspicuously absent. The standing members voted to dissolve the AAS Government and as a result the El Presidente was demoted to Porter for Life.
Senator of the fightin' first district - danmcq
Sergeant at Arms - lizardboy
Treasurer - tattmalbot
Executive scribe - major bone
Executive chauffeur - kirk
Executive chef - jefe
Porter for Life - pablito
the legislative branch makes all laws
the executive branch implements the laws (but has no veto power)
the judicial branch interprets the laws
all members must have lived in albuquerque for at least three months at some point in their life or be related to someone who has
an AAS event must be an outdoor sporting event in which there is some risk of death or injury
no cheap crappy beer at an AAS event
two AAS members are required for an official AAS event
nomination for membership requires attendance at two AAS events and sponsorship by AAS member
membership is decided by a unanimous vote of all of the officers
all members are required to have fun whether they like it or not
mother nature and all of her flora and fuana must be treated with respect
never leave a man behind (or a woman's behind)
new laws must be created (or proposed) during official aas events
capital crimes (in aas law terms) are punishable by defecation in your nalgene
all aas members must bookmark the aas blog (expect random inspections)
some aas events require formal dress attire, which is defined as a collared shirt (that wicks well)
prospective AAS members are referred to as pledges and may be addressed as "mah-caca"
after a prospective AAS member completes the first event they may retort to being called mah-caca with the reply, "my name is lance you ..."
AAS members may deny credit for an event for prospective AAS members with respect to the required two events for nomination for purely subjective reason
AAS members are required to do at least one lap on the powerline right of way at the annual Wolf Creek Ski Summit
new AAS members are initiated through a needlessly long and complicated ceremony decided arbitrarily by the president and sergeant of arms
after the initiation the new AAS member must buy booze for existing AAS members for the remainder of the day
new AAS members are also referred to as lance during the day of initiation
Each AAS event must be turned into a title & acronym for posting purposes
At every winter/snow camping AAS event, at least one member must bring some pre-cooked bacon
Specific punishments for violating the official AAS
bylaws are clearly stated immediately below.
Punishments range from sticking the offender
with the bar tab to various mandatory acts of
self-inflicted public humiliation, to be recorded on
the AAS site via pictures or video clip. The severity
obviously depends on the magnitude of the offense.
Incidentally, since AAS bylaws do not apply to non-AAS
events, and effectively exist in a state of anarchy,
enforcement and punishment are left to the creativity
of the other event attendees. So proceed at your own
risk. However, non-AAS members at AAS events fall
under AAS jurisdiction, and are therefore subject to
their specified codes of conduct.
The above is hereby posted under the authority of
being the loudest and most pompous blowhard in the
There shall never be exactly ten "AAS Ten Essentials"
All members shall hold an office, regardless of how ridiculous or insignificant the position. The office shall be selected by a majority vote of all members.
In order for a potential member to be made an AAS member, that potential member must have attended expeditions with all existing members. Note, not all members need be present at one time.
AAS members can substitute a day at Silverton for a lap on the powerline right of way at the annual Wolf Creek Ski Summit
The person who makes a motion can also second the motion.
There are no executive orders! The president can make decrees, but no one has to follow them.
The 7 "Ten Essentials"
Smoked or cured meat
Fire paste (or napalm)
Something to smoke (decriminalized)
Piranha spork (or other deadly dinnerware)
Digital camera with video capability
- After a day of extreme snowsports, it's probably a bad idea to try to run up a flight of stairs two at a time. - If on a Sunday at a popular ski resort, you come upon an apparently pristine powder-field, there are probably flesh-ripping rocks just underneath.